T.HL♥

2010-03-12T07:23:00.000-08:00

I have moved!
http://big-dreams-lalaland.onsugar.com/
pls relink:D

2010-03-01T14:47:00.000-08:00

I am very worn out after so much training and juggle both studies and CCA is really tearing me apart. Now that i am officially down frm CC competition, i can study more and more time for my friends, family and MY BOYFRIEND!!! :DDD
I have many test since the start of school, and i fluck most of it and it always single digit! Argh, really have to put up my sock and do revision already which means less time to blog. Therefore, i want to close down my blog.
Follow me on twitter!
http://twitter.com/T_HL

2010-02-22T05:33:00.000-08:00

I feel like withdrawing CC. Can i???
I feel so reluctant staying in the team.
I am slow, feel like burden to the team.
I hope to leave, even you guys will say i am coward or wad so ever.
I want, i want, this really tearing me up!

2010-02-21T06:05:00.000-08:00

I am busy very very busy!!!
I want to have a break!
Prelims round for CC is coming!!!
I got the feel to close down this blog..
Should i???

To shawn: I am very nice to her can!!!

2010-02-15T07:29:00.000-08:00

Happy Lunar New Year!!

(though its a bit late)

Today the second day of CNY, went to my bf ahma hse and his dad 's friend hse, which is also Kok Hong house..very shocking and surprising..OMG can!!! At his ah ma hse so damn paiseh lor, the atmosphere very awkward la..luckily his aunts quite friendly if not i don't know how to survive..His dad quite stern to me and mummy ok la and his sister nice to me la and i find her very pretty can!!! Mostly imptly i got many hong bao which i find them very guilty to accept and very bad to reject..Well, quite a tiring day..wonder how does they find me? Aiya, dun care la..as long as JC know jiu hao!!!
Ytd 1st day of CNY went out for movie at night with AL, we watch Little Big Soldier. Nice movie and very nice flow of the movie and it hilarious and touching. After movie went to aunt place to play sparks and my aunts are like saying my heels are too high for me and criticizing of what i wore and so on and so fore.. Like so WHATEVER, HAHAHA:D Btw they left this morning with mum...Hope they will enjoy and back safely!

I love you!
As long as you are there for me, we will go on forever.
Blissfully and happily.
KohJiaCheng.

2010-02-09T05:42:00.000-08:00

Will not be updating till some date later.
Very engaged with many many things.
Everyone is opposing me!
Parent don't appreciate my presence.
Studies fail me.
Take me away for this horrible place.

2010-01-30T09:43:00.000-08:00

HELLOOOOOOOOO!
Times really flies! Its been like a mth since sch have started and we alrdy having mock exams. GOSH!I guess other than math, the rest all fail..HAHA! Ok, not so worried yet actually still got time to brush up everything and re-study the chapter that have taught last yr and last last yr..I am going to meet my target or even ace it and go JC! I will study very very hard and go up to university and save money at the same to pay my university fees..I don't wish to use dad money or even to borrow from relative to finish my studies..I hope i can do myself and dad proud, really proud that even my dad leave us he will not be worried about us..Dad, i can do it! Believe me.
Last fri, i finally feel the sense of belonging in my girls team!!Its a good news indeed!! My girls finally got the "feel" and i really love to have it back. So girls, keep it up and Top 1 will be ours!
Meixian, actually you are the start of everything..i simply love to imitate you! "Cha-Cha" , "L-E-M-O-N" and more to come!!! HEHEHEHE!
Hurray, he gonna be back soon!
I miss him.
Sorry that i dint answer ur phone call,
coz i wasnt with my phone!
Sorry:(

I really have a very bad feeling that
i will lose someone precious to me..
I know its wrong to say but i can feel..

2010-01-18T06:10:00.000-08:00

Firstly,

Happy Birthday to:
TOO HUI WEN,
my sister:D

She is turning 14 today. Hope she had enjoy her day and have a good start for the year. Bless that she will be smooth sailing for the year and rest of her life..She is my precious little sister that i will never leave her alone and face the unknown future, i will stand by her and keep her safe.
I know i ain't a perfect sister but i will try to be one, just have to keep in mind that i will always love you no matter how bad u are! EVIL GIRL:P bleah!!! LOVE LOVE:)

Next, i am in a bad situation whereby i might be leaving my girls due to some misconception. I told some of the sec 4 alrdy but i really hope that it could be postpone to a later date or so..OMG, feeling freaking guilty abt it. Well today training will F-king funny, chan kuan is so hilarious sia..really make laugh like mad! I guess others might think that i screw so connection in my brains. HAHA! SUPER DUPER FUNNY!!!
Lastly, school was still as stress like ever, THAT FISH is like ding tong like usual.. weird auntie dun know wtf she is thinking. Think she teacher jiu very big meh? Irritating biatch but i have no choice but to listen in her class and tahan her bloody nonsense..hais! jia you ba HUILING! Its for your good:)

2010-01-15T06:20:00.000-08:00

End of week 2.. Well, tiring week i must say..the same old routine continue every single day getting bored and tiring really fast..Lacking of motivation seriously, my girl are practically slacking la and they are really emotional can cry and cry non-stop! hais..i am losing faith in you..really!
Well, went to see my dentist on Thurs and confirm that 30th april will be my surgery date..very scare and afraid to undergo the surgery..Bless me please..very scare!!! OMG:(
Uber tired la..
Should i???

2010-01-11T05:05:00.000-08:00

Hey guys:D
Its been the second week of school, pretty stressful and still quite unsure of my work esp sciences..Very heavy of contents, many terms and need many hard work to complete or to even understands. School work are really getting harder and i really have to spent more time to study and to balance my time really well and definitely got to sacrifices time for friends and family.. I really hope that they can understand esp my dad..Jangling studies and CC competition isnt easy i swear..many time and energy are used for that and its really suffocating me, really hope that my dad can understand and not scolding or to keep saying that"studies is the only thing i do and what so hard about it? " To be honest, study for a pass is easy, if you would study to get good grades is hard and it is even harder when there many obstacles and problems u face when u giving the hardest shot in studies. I guess many student that are like me totally agrees with me..I really need the understanding bcoz it means alot to me, really!
Back to today, release of O level result. Lets don't talk abt the 4Es, 5Ns , talk about the 4Ns( the sec 5 this yr) well our result are mostly As and Bs and some Cs for math and for CL was pretty drastic, they either got A after retake or remain their own score which is a bad score for most of us( there are still some tt inproved). For me i got the same score, well i alrdy expected it, i dint study hard for the 2nd paper and i deserve to get the same score..But i felt guilty toward Lee lao shi coz she taught us so much and give her best to teach yet i dint apply much pn my second paper and i was pretty complacent that my result was not that bad better than many of them..I am very sorry and guilt me alot. I decided to retake and tahan that FISH for a couples of months.. A2 here i come:)

What should i get for you???
Hmmm...

2010-01-06T06:51:00.000-08:00

First 2010 post! WOOHOO!
Today have been my 3rd day of school, well still able to catch up with works at the same time, it is pressurizing me. Teachers that came in said the same old thing like all over and over again, keep telling us that Ns and Os are very very different and its a very big jump. WELL, i agree definitely but dun have to like repeat and repeat like again and again ..Its abit irritating and stress here!
Well, i can see that my entire year is busy very busy. I have campcraft training almost everyday till End of march, im going thailand with YW during march hols and many thing in between that period of time..After that i am full mode for studies till Os are over..I am really gonna study real hard and make sure i know every single bits of the syllabus. HAHAHA:D Have to b hardworking this year..
As for my personal issue, i got lighten up by Nat & Belle, i shldnt be with him(though long ago i knw some of the truth) but wanted to give him a chance. Too bad that he misuse tt chance..Sound bad, i know.. i think i dun deserve a guy anw..so ya, bye and takecare:)

Ended~
Post soon if i have the time!
Love,
HL:)

2009-12-30T05:06:00.000-08:00

Hey guys!!!
I finally decided to join the Campcraft team!
Tough choice but i still made it..
Today went down to see the training, my girls was so emotional la..
Crying their heart out as if they haven been crying for ages..OMG!
Things finally sorted out and they have talk their heart out, hope you guys can stay peaceful. May you guys move on tgt to the finals and get back our TOP 3! Yea, the TOP 3 rightfully owner! HAHAHA! Ambitious right? No choice and i don't care i want TOP 3!
So girls gotta work hard and no slacking!
Cya on tue!!! Monday i got dental app!

Actually i wanted to be.
But its ok, i know i don't deserve it.

2009-12-29T04:41:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
CLARENCE LIU:)
MY DA GE!
Long last with her yea!

2009-12-29T04:32:00.000-08:00

Hey! Finally got my laptop back!!!
Well, nothing much to update! Went out with many different peeps for the pass few days.
Alpha-ed on last Saturday. Sunday bball-ed with cousins. Monday, out with belle:D Today went to aunt hse slack, adam & lijun went to visit BaoHui and chatted with them:)
END!
Bye:)

Eh, stupid do something about it la!!

2009-12-24T08:37:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas Peeps!!!
This year gonna have a lonely christmas,not going to celebrate;staying at home! No dates! Hahaha, perhaps is a good thing hor! yea!
I just came back last midnight from china! Well, lousy trip i must say! At first was ok but last day was total shitx and sucky! I dun wanna say again la..super duper pissed off i swear! I miss alpha gathering, damn regretful saw the pics frm fb make me even piss tt why the hell i went to shitty china and not stay at home and attend alpha gathering! Argh, this is really driving hell! Damn you, china and tt asshole!!! F ur mama!!!
End here bye!
J.C have a safe trip! Muacks!

2009-12-09T07:04:00.000-08:00

Why did things turn out this way? I thought we can be friends, when one party want more than that everything changes..He become very weird..I know he isnt feeling any better than mine but why? I don't think that i am so attractive that you can fall for me in a short period of time but i really just want to make friend..What wrong of being friend even though i think i have just give a wrong first impression of me to you..I swear i am guilty of that too..i really do and i really feel very sorry towards you..I guess i am isn't worthy for you to treat me so good yet nothing good benefits you in the end..But i really appreciate what u did this morning, thank you so much! I really hope that we can stay as friend at least for now..
Back to myself, i have realized that i isn't confidence enough to get in relationship that explain why dint i accept him even though i have a little feeling for him..Maybe before i met him, i have already let go of ky but still wants to linger and did not realize that i no longer love him..Yet i still wish to know is happening in his life, wants to make back friends with him.Therefore,i thought i still have feeling for him.. But i don't anymore. I seems to have safety barriers on guys when they claim that they are falling for me..I will get really scare and nervous, worried that i might get hurt once again..Even when i have feeling for them, i will force myself not to accept the relationship..I will start to think wild and words that come out are really hurtful and communication will get screw..Sorry! I won't get a boyfriend till i find the rightful one..
May god bless him(s).
Let me bear the punishment myself.

2009-12-03T08:44:00.000-08:00

HEY!
Argh, holidays are getting bored, really bored!
That thing got found out by dad, yeah have to save up for the amt nw..hais! I got to bear the consequences..Luckily, i told a lie and dad believe it..LUCKILY! ahas! Hmm..i think i got cheated and totally dun hope for any good nw..Just hope that i will be safe for everything..And Ns result gonna be release soon, so scare and worried can! Wad if i dint pass, where will i go and how much guilt i have to bear for the rest of my life..really dun wish to happen..Bless that everything will be fine, dun wan to implicate dad..argh..poor daddy! For what so reason i am piss abt dad, he will stay important in my heart, so does mummy and sis!
Poor sis, have to jungle netball and basketball, hope she can endure through..drink more water and rest well, sissy! though i just shouted at her just now and damn pissed by her..Argh, what can i do? She is my SISTER! hahaha:)

i duno wad i did that make u like that,
but i really want u as my friend truthfully.
Hope u will got back!
& to him, i really miss him,
i knw i am damn depraved!
But sorry:(

Shall be it..
~End here

2009-11-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

Argh..stayed at home the whole day..i was packing and cleaning my room..now my room looks great!! Perhaps can invite ppl over before it get untidy again...haha! Well..these fews day, a question really struck me and i have been pondering about it for some time..Well, why are we behaving like a couple? We doesnt like each other and we are just like a couple; meg, talk on phone, den send me home when i am out and stuff? WHY HUH?Really wonder, perhaps i shall stay a distance before thing got complicate..Yes i must! And i finally figure out! haha, what is that isnt important, important is that i am very sure of myself..
Tmrw is 19 nov which means that prefects gathering is up! Woots, i cant wait guys!! Gonna have dinner at Seoul garden..cool yeah?YUP YUP it does!!! After which is grad high tea..got a bit dun feel like attending..

sweetie i finally got it:)

2009-11-17T08:11:00.000-08:00

HELLO!
Today was extremely tiring..Can die sia!!! Town-ed walk walk ard for clothes and that totally kills me! GOD DAMN IT! Worst part was i am damn freaky unlucky...shall not say about it! EWWWW! F F F F! omg..im so lethargic now..argh..gdnite!
OPEN AND CLOSED:)

2009-11-15T05:48:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone:)
Just back from aunt hse..Den Kenneth came to send me home..thank dude!Btw we are just friends..
The dinner food wasnt that nice..but came up some la..In the afternoon,went to thomson rd dere for lunch. We had chicken rice,OMG it was fantastic! Den went seletar reservoir, saw many monkey..LOL! den we talk a short walk den went back home..before reaching, we stop at the sk east way there to see the semi-detach appartment, aunt was so tempted to buy la..well i hope we can stay in that kind of house..hahaha:)but dad and my another aunt dun really like the idea..so well, see how it goes den...den went home, bath and off to meet annabelle..wanted to catch 2012 but i dun have the time so we went to hk cafe to have food, which practically annabelle doing the eating..she was famished! HAHA:] den went to aunt hse..dinner and stuff..
Ytd i finally told my feelings to him, so relief and so heartbroken...Yea, he got another girl in mind already..Best part wasnt he have another girl in mind or dun like me or what is that he actually ask for something that me totally disgusted! I guess even though he ask something that was so ridiculous and make me so shatter, i still love him deeply..Kinda silly and stupid right..everyone says that..But what can i really do?

2009-11-10T04:26:00.000-08:00

Just a short one.
I am so beat after a day of exams and job hunt..
I am so tired and feel like skipping school tmrw..
Aww, i want my beauty sleep badly!
Nights everyone:)

2009-11-09T03:18:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine nearly fall from the bench of the LRT station!!!
Chinese Paper tmrw..i am prepared! Not becoz i study hard for it perhaps i am contented with my previous results alrdy.
Lastly, he is so love by me!!!HAHAHAHA!!!

2009-11-06T07:04:00.000-08:00

HELLO!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

ITS HIS 60TH BIRTHDAY:)
My dad have lived for half a century..Though sometimes he may be forgetful and called me and my sister name wrongly but i really adore my dad..he is my superman! He does almost everything and all is well done! Hope he will be able to long-live and wait till the day to do the exchange that he will stay at home and rest and i will support him..Sponsor his fishing trips and bring him to nice place to enjoy his remaining life! I LOVE U,PAPA! Stay healthy!

2009-11-01T21:29:00.000-08:00

back from HPB for my dental check..X ray and my tooths are prefectly fine but i have to go thru surgery to get my crowning done..My gums are to high and have lower it to crown those tooth..Aww man, can someone help me??? I wont want to go for anymore surgery..sob!
i nearly cried in mrt just now..hais..
Im done..nothing to say!
Btw i fall sick, my nose like tap non-stop dripping.

2009-11-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone..
Just came back frm dinner @ Middle Rd..I had steamboat cum BBQ..well from the 1st step i get in, its sucks till the time i left..services, food and environment all sucks! Lousy place to eat! Lets not elaborate anymore..One word sucks!
Okay..for many secondary students, they have probably have their holidays, as for me i will have 2 wks of bridging..wonders these lesson are able to help me or not..haha..i have also gotten back my prelims result slips yet it doesnt tally..i crush it like twice in the end i still kept it..Kinda stupid right..? haha i know!
On friday.. i went night safari with sister, annabelle, weichiat, adam and josher..well very fun..i kept kena scare:( haha nice night though..i love that night i had..picture are on FB..check it out there..

i am in a maze.
i really wonder what he is thinking..
But i know i still love him not him yet..
Sorry! I guess i will hurt you..

2009-10-31T03:56:00.000-07:00

Its raining cats and dogs!!
Cold yet scary:)

2009-10-25T03:43:00.001-07:00

Hey Ho!
Long time no post..FIRSTLY I WANT SAY!
I ENDED MY WORK AS PROMOTER!
THE JOB IS SO BORING:)
I am back to earth!
WEEEE:]
Now i am aiming to be toysrus staff..HAHA, everyday got toy to play:) Wee..
I AM GOING TO DYE MY HAIR!
YES, i am going to dye coming tuesday! Dun get jealous..
well still thinking what to dye..median blonde? Copper Brown? or ....
ya well..going to dye..

Oooo..cant really think of any thing to blog..things are so happening yet duno wher to start here..
hmm..my life these days i all school, work and sleep..and evry single moment i am thinking of him..many time i took train to simei just try to see yet never ever going to happen..So foolish right?I know, but what can i do?hahaha...Working is so tiring yet cant help it..so happy today is the last day..but i haven tell dad and mum i ended my work so i going go out till 9 plus den go home..so dun tell them ok? shhhhhh...hahaha
couple days back, ms pilo said something so impossible..even belle and TL agree with her..so no link la..
argh.end here la..i going to slp la..dam tired:]
bye~

2009-10-14T09:12:00.000-07:00

HELOOOO!
i ended my Ns le..got some days le...currently working at * as promotor for Maybelline..The place a bit wu lu as compare to belle & Jas. Surprisingly, my sales is better than theirs..hahaha! all the aunties got cheated by me, hehehe! Evil huh? learn from others de lei...haha..
Well, i hate the job, need makeup de sia plus i dam lazy and dun like to makeup, bcoz of this my face got ruin sia..look dam shaggy & dull..want cry liao sia..*wipe tears*
Oh ya! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO JASMINE ANG LI YUN!
that day went out with her, jr & kenneth to celebrate. Went Ion to see belle 1st day den to bugis for steamboat den to SHESHA!!! <3333 My first time to shesha and i love it.even though when i just start i got choke but i love it aft that..OMG I want to go again!! jio me if u guys going or want to try..
OK, that will be all...
BYE<33

2009-10-04T06:13:00.000-07:00

HELO!
tmrw i am having my Ns level 3th paper.. Last 2 papers was a month ago and tmrw is the rest of the papers.Well..my feeling toward it is pretty peaceful, not much stress and pressure(duno wht gd or bad). Plus i got a little mentally prepared to go ITE. I feel that i will end up there.HAHAHA!*Choy,touch wood* I can imagine what will i get when the release of result, I duno will i meet my target. I (think) i can make it to sec 5.
And i want to shout: MY PANDA, BEST FRIEND CAME TO FIND ME! DAMN! I AM BLOODY SHAG!

2009-09-30T08:10:00.000-07:00

Quick one!
im 16 alrdy!
Ns is nxt monday gonna mug real hard.
Studied just nw with asqiha
& thanks Kenneth!
I wanted to say but he dint reply!
Lastly , BYE!

2009-09-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

I went down today.
I have a mixture of feeling..
I cant explain how terrible i feel.
He left too sudden, i cant accept the fact.
A nice guy doesnt deserve this at all.
I cant blame this is unfair,
only reason to console myself is that
he might have relief after leaving.
May god bless him, all angel will take care of him.
He live in our heart forever.
To all: takecare, he is not gone just that
he moved to somewhere to continue his journey.

2009-09-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

Rest in peace KimWee.
U will be remembered by us definitely.
Hilarie, stay strong..
Thing are unpredictable.
Everyone have to go through this,
the cycle of human being.

2009-09-22T06:16:00.001-07:00

i used to think that my way of telling others my thought was easily understood, but i realize it doesn't. The way i approach to certain people i will go straight forward some i will go around the bush to reduce the pain or hurt i might cause. The approach changes and differ of people i will change my way of talking, i think that difference people can accept difference level of ' harshness'. I want to used a nice manner to reject but he dint seem to get my point, therefore things turn out this way today. I cant put all the blame on you, i know i am at fault to a certain extent. Its not wrong to like someone, but u cant force or plead that person to like you in the manner that u like that person. When soft approach cant help, hard one will definitely be next. The hard one is let one understand there is no future for the two of them, i believe in 长痛不如短痛 so i wrote harsh words and i dint know that it will stirred up so much things. Only i can do is to say " SORRY". I know all this feeling and this unbearable to let go yet have to give up.
I also love someone that will never be with me not even friend, but can i do ? i did nth but to slowly to let go of that person and forget him. I dint even talk or sms to him, i can understand that human being wish to get thing they wanted but Love can never ever be force.
I was naive that everyone can understand my approach.

2009-09-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

HELLO!
back to blogging! wuhahaha!
ok, now i am damn irritated by this moron!in fact that fellow brother also!! i have the right not to reply any messeges, not only u that i ignore ok!! Please get the fact right MR! U two dont have the right ask why am i like this! This is me, get used to it or else get lost! And this last time i gonna say: i dun talk to people that cant click with me! I am very much sure that we cant even click as friend still want to be....!It started with a wrong ending will be wrong too. The only thing u did wrong was that u like me! there are other girls out there why me??? I not attractive, way pretty girl are many out there? So let that end here, nth will do good if u still cling on. Let yourself go and set me free! I will be very thankful! Let the pain ends fast rather than a torture one.
Sorry if my words are too harsh, i have to.

Well, today papa is back frm fishing with many many fish! Yippie i have fresh fish to eat le lor!! Jealous? Oh so sad! nrm, i can share if u want to join my family for dinner, if i am convenience. Went to changi airport T2 to fetch dad in the afternoon, den came back help him settle the fish den he went to buy 4D den i went swimming will mummy. Actually i dint wanted to go but swimming is like to tempting and i feel so guilty that i dint keep accompany with papa at home! i feel very guilty though he dint say anything. Hais sometimes i feel so uncomfortable at home, dint knw how to help the situation and it feel so hurt when u are there yet unable to help. It really painful. I wanted to cry but i cant let papa see, it reallt ache alot when papa say something in that afternoon. Papa, no matter what i want u to be happy and stay long with me.I cant imagine the days without u and i am not ready to left u. Papa, i love you!!!

2009-09-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

now i feel very uncomfortable! very very very!
i cant stop crying. why i am feeling this way. i very scare and uncomfortable.
who can i go to? tell me and help me.
i cant even study, will i fail my N and go ite?
i am very afraid it might happen, help me!

2009-09-07T04:51:00.000-07:00

Just do a quiz in Fb but dun feel like posting at Fb.
so i will post it here.

1. Do you trust Annabelle?
yes,of course

2. What do you think of Jasmine?
Nice

3. What is Kevin's favorite TV show or movie?
erm, idk

4. Describe Nathson in five words.
cute, nice, cheerful, happy and friendly

5. Have you ever had lunch together with Hui Wen?
yes

6. Liting got turned into an animal! What animal is it?
fish, so i can keep it

7. Describe Kim leong in one word.
fillal

8. What's Heri to you?
friend lor!

9. What song could be Adam's theme song?
dead silent

10. If Bao Hui and Jasmine were locked in the same (really small) room for longer than a day, what would most likely happen?
nothing.

2009-09-06T02:26:00.000-07:00

Hi there!!
my N level first paper is a day away, time really flies. My memory is still stuck at 2 yrs ago, sec 2 life is just like ytd to me.Maybe many things had happened that year even though this yr is nothing better.But i miss those time seriously, i really had many fun that yr.Well, time will not be turned back only can live better in future. Back to my Ns, my preparation is going well and i really wish to score well in N and go to sec 5.i will be studying hard and score well! hahaha!!! off to study!!! bye!
i love you<3

2009-09-03T15:41:00.000-07:00

hello everyone!
good morning:]
going to sch soon,haha!
bye!
i have good hair today.
i miss him.

2009-08-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

Wee..! Monday lei! Well today is teachers day celebration and tmrw is a sch holiday. I will sleep till late and study after that. I want start my ss and finish half my story book. WHAHAHA!
Today i also went up stage get cert. CCA cert distinction sia. I super duper pro sia! DISTINCTION LEI! Jealous? hahaha! chiong ur cca la!hahahaha!
Today in sch dam fun! disiao annabelle dam shiok la! first time i disiao her untill so song! haha!
"i am nicholas" hahahaha! inner joke! dun have to understand! haha! im so gay now la! high lei! During the celebration i dint see dinosaur got a little disappointed. got alittle miss him sia! miss disiao-ing him! but ok la. i also miss nathson!!! gosh dint see him for long long time liao sia!!! miss him till siao!!!hmm still got who i miss ar?hmm. no one liao i guess. actually got one la but not surprise that he wasnt here.hehe!! aft sch celebration, BK-ed, library to borrow books den HOME. haha..my sch life is getting boring and N level is on my mind once i open and closed my eyes. is nxt wk! gosh. gotta mug real hard, prove tt we can do it!
LASTLY:
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY TO ALL MY TEACHERS<33>
THIS IS A SPECIAL DAY FOR OUR NOBLE TEACHERS THAT GIVE THEIR BEST TO US(STUDENTS) TO MAKE SURE THAT ONE DAY WE CAN SUCCEED IN OUR LIFE. GIVE US DIRECTIONS THAT WILL LEAD US TO THE RIGHT PATH, GUIDING US IN ALL WAYS TO MAKE SURE THAT WE ARE SAFE IN THE FUTURE. TO OUR TEACHERS THAT GIVE OUT UNCONDITIONALLY, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY A BIG THANK YOU TO ALL! XIEXIE!WO AI NI!

2009-08-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

back from school! aces day! brought fruits to sch orange and grapes! done some exercise.den class after than. today is not much of lessons taught. amath lesson was so WTF! shall not mention! and i want to say again!

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH KEVIN POH CHENG EN!
IS GETTING ANNOYING! STOP PLEASE!!!

2009-08-26T08:08:00.000-07:00

Wednesday: half day yet very tired like any other day.my sleeping time is increasing and everyday i feel so tired even wkend. sleeping the whole day never seems enough. why arh? hahaha!!lessons was alright. after sch rp den walk home. without fail i still wonder if he is at home...
Well this few days i feel kinda lost and it totally suck! really wonder why im feeling that..i guess the drama too much beautiful love story, jealous and remind of that again. He is visiting my thought every now and then actually. Couldnt stop thinking and dint know hw to stop it neither. Just having a little distraction i guess. I hope it will be fine as time goes.

我发誓不再说谎了
想念你连呼吸都痛
想见不能见最痛
我的微笑都假了
灵魂像飘浮着
你在就好了
能重来那就好了

2009-08-22T10:49:00.000-07:00

Going 2 am ! hahas!
going to slp soon! haha! very IMPORTANT! JU JUNBIAO IS HOT! if my boyfriend that type one, i can ease off! see so many drama of love, got me to tempted to have bf sia! well, still have to wait for the right and good one. A suitable one for me, this cannot be forced anyway! HAHA just whining la!! so sleepy sia! whahahahaha!!!
OFF TO SLEEP!

sorry i cant help it,
you keep coming out my mind.
ur images keep appearing made me very lost.
what can do to stop!
Why did i choose you?
Tell me why?
TKY!

2009-08-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

END OF PRELIMS!
BAD NEWS!
WHY?
START OF N LEVELS IS COMING!
ARGH! GOT TO STUDY MORE!
ALL THE BEST TO PEEPS THAT ARE TAKING!
STUDY HARD!
BLESS THAT THOSE WILL GO UP!

2009-08-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!
don't know why so diligently updating la..haha! feel like it ba:] well..went sch for Mathematics Paper 2..to me the paper is kinda hard! didnt know how to do couple of questions and a struck here and there..it end @ 10 den waiting for the O level MT result to be review..after 1 hours of waiting left school with Heri&Ee Yjourn to Cp mac they have late breakfast early lunch..den XiangRong came after his Geo paper. Before that i called YC and ask for result but she didnt answer after hang up Belle called and told me the result briefly den YC called and told my result and verify those thing with her..well at the point of time i was very disappointed and really feel like crying infront of the 2 guys but i hold back la..den XR reached, den i was thinking to fetch my sis to see doc or not. They said go get my sister and they followed me to SKSS to get my sis and they left after that.Thanks guys!
Well left the sch to Polyclinic den we were late for the consultation as we went makan..dam paiseh sia! den my sister was send for X-ray of her swollen pig trotter. HAHAHA:))) and we went out again as the waiting time is like 45 min den we cant possible wait stupidly in the clinic so we went to cp to walk walk..den when we were back our number just got skip( means we are late again). den went in again super duper embarrassed la! den the result state there is no fracture just the tissue swell..so got the prescription and made payment den HSH.. den stay @ home till now den blogging lor!

P.S I wont tell the result of my MT paper!
P.S I love my sister very much! HEHE!

2009-08-18T07:03:00.000-07:00

Wee! Just came back from school for night study and bath-ed!
well, study and chit chat..there is only 4 of us: annabelle, jasmine, adam and myself.. nothing much actually..photos taken too:

2009-08-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

I finished my Literature Book: CID in 3 hours!
i cant believe it! !
CONGRATS TO ME!!
BAD HEADACHE! FEEL LIKE CRYING COZ TOO PAIN!

2009-08-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

ALPHA'08<3333

2009-08-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

its have been a year..i guess this time a yr ago we are having campfire or maybe even staring at the sky telling ghost stories or chit chatting etc..i really miss those days we spent together crapping spent night talking non-stop..i really love it..you guys really filled my life with excitement, even though we are not together or even countries away our heart nvr fail to stay together. We have spent the 4 days meaningfully and we have many good memories that keep us to close together.. words are never enough to express my gratitude toward you guys! i really love you all! I guess couple of us are having exam or having preparation for their Ns or Os nevertheless we are all one alpha! a minutes of alpha is a life of alpha! we shared the common memory! we will meet up soon!!! i love alpha for life!!

1 year of anniversary to :
All
National Camp'08
Alpha-mates!
ILOVEYOUALL!
MY MOST MEMORABLE CAMP IS ALL YOU GUYS!
ILOVEYOUx INFINITY

2009-08-12T07:12:00.000-07:00

HELLO!
dint have to attend school today.not pon ok! is bcoz today prelim MT paper and i have my Os chinese done so dint have to take this paper..well today..woke up @ 11 plus and feel that my throat is burning! is so damn painful and only i could do is to drink and drink water.looking up and down for lozenges but cant take too much coz my papa say it will inflame the throat even more so i took one and start studying my biology. i realized biology seem easily but its not..i got my head spinning and got headache..the terms and enzymes and@#$%^&* are so complicated! Gosh i so have to do well for biology la!! my chemistry is definitely CMI and i aiming a 2 for sciences! so i must get like 40/ 50 for biology! i so gonna mug for biology real hard! going really hardcore for sciences!!! OK! i so nervous and scare about my prelims and Ns! i MUST pass Ns and not a just pass but a VERY GOOD PASS LIKE 15 and below!!! I am really going to study real hard and get myself really concentrate with studies..if want to study out can tell me! i want go out study BUT ther is a condition!! Is that u must be good in Chemistry ! hahahas!!! need help in tt subject sia! hehehe! or if you are good in Chem tell me too ! i need many many and big big help! THANKS ALOT!

Have nice night and prepared for tomorrow Social Studies Paper! All the best to myself and all!!!
I got to rest now, my head is very painful! Gd night peepos!!! LOVE YOU:]]]

2009-08-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

HELLO!
im bored! yet i have to study! prelims is starting tomorrow!have to really study and drill hard on my works..kinda worried what if i did badly for prelims and screw up my Ns..i cant really imagine that other than seeing myself crying and blaming everything..gotta get on my feet and study..mugging and more mugging:)
apart from studying these few days..i have an eventful idea frm my aunt ytd yet unable to go..she called and asked me wanna go to batam a night and be back today..i wanna go but when i told her i am having my****, she said cannot and hung up the phone. Like so wth la..supposed now i will be still in batam enjoying life la..but well dint regrat much coz i slpt with my sister last night we chit chat like so loudly and laugh untill there is no tmrw..and i suspect tt she is hiding something frm me:x..well, she dint tell..cant help it..
just a little thought this 2 week, i tink its very unlucky and bad..many bad things happen and i dint knw how to react to the situation and get pissed very easily.something very major is gonna happen to me i guess..dying soon! suffocating sia! i cant understand why those people behaving that way..too much secret lying and hard to keep it safely.. can some1 help!

i told too much lies..

2009-07-31T05:41:00.000-07:00

I did a quiz and here the result..i tink its pretty true..

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

can try it too:http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2009-07-28T05:24:00.000-07:00

ytd..totally disappointed..i thought it will be fine even though i was afraid and worry b4 i went up..but at first was ok but it was totally bad..im really very heart broken..why is he doing this to me..why?i really cant figure it out..and i can roughly guess what he is thinking after we left..why? i really gona to break down when he did that..why is he doing that? why is it the time i fell so deeply with him? why? before i left sch i said that:' to gain somthing i must lose something' & " bad feeling/ bad instinct/ sixth sense is telling something very bad/wrong going to happen. End up like this..heart really sank all the way down..maybe im too naive to believe or even fall into his plot..i thought he was my prince charming, i can said he is the guy that i want to stay with forever..but he..tears wasnt enough to swept all my feeling out..i really love him and i have to keep this love forever..maybe its my karma..
ilovehim

2009-07-23T00:11:00.000-07:00

i saw him just now..i really see..even i could only see his back but i know is him..definitely him..confirm is him..the feeling is back the passionate and love for him is really back but i dun have the courage to talk to him..even see him i cant do anything but to see him walking further and further away from me..i dread to see his back facing me all the times..when can i really see him face to face tell him how much i love him..will the day come? i will be waiting, mr ***!

2009-07-21T08:36:00.000-07:00

Should i get my butt into the matter? I really hope that she will be sensible to think and prioritize her things.. i really hope she can break off with the guy..not saying that he is not good or what but she is not time to take up the relationship..thinking of that really make me heart pain..i hope that you two shld be thinking about it..i knw he might not knw how she is living now but i see this myself and everyday, it really indescribable..just like my heart bleeding..pls leave each other for your own good..i wont gain any good really..PLEASE MY DEAR!
Im really not jealous..so pain to say these to you in face but think about it..let go is also a way of love..

im really sorry of disapprove this..
im bad to say but forgive me..
im really sorry..
please understand why im thinking this way..
you are my precious,
i cant let you like this..
i love you no matter what..

2009-07-20T06:32:00.000-07:00

today school was alright, that bitch dint come! yippie..i laugh alot today..well.. aft sch went home quick bath den meet annabelle to domi hse for dinner! DOMI's mum very funny and friendly..her cooking really nice sia..prawn and fish was awesome.. THANKS ALOT DOM&HER MUM!

BAD NEW IS THAT I BROKE OFF WITH MY A.LZL..
THAT ALL! HAHAHA!VERY SLEEPY SIA!

LISTENING COMPRE WED! GOSH!

I WILL BE MAKING NEW SPECS TOMORROW!

~all for now..slping mode!

2009-07-15T06:04:00.000-07:00

TO: A.LZL

This is a return post for you! After reading those you have for me, other than touched i cant really think of any words to say. I really cannot think of anything, really nothing at all! And making me wanna cry after reading! Well, but i love it and i wil keep it in my brain for life.Thank You so much ! I love so much even willing to married you ! haha!

We had been through quite alot this yr, we share almost everything and did many stuff ( mostly stupid ones) and many many more. I never thought that we can be so close and so compatible till we start talking and going out. At first i thought we are going out tgt becoz of Jasmine but now we seems to go out without Jasmine instead.HAHAHA!

But this period of time is enough for me to open my heart to you. Sometimes too open that u feel irritated but i hope u can tahan hor? No matter what i am willing to be your pillar prevent you from falling and ur shelfter when ever u need me. I will alway be there when u call/ chant/ hunt for me!

Dun worry that we will end in separation, coz that will never ever gonna happen coz i have faith that this wont happen! My crap is enough to bring us for long long way plus your charm will take us even further! Nothing will get in our way!

Sometimes things cant be said in words but i know u understand & know what is deep down in our heart. We will stand strong till the very last of our life!Even we have BF OR HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, we will still stay together! From today our fate is tied!

LASTLY:
COPYRIGHT!

from: T.HL

2009-07-11T00:53:00.000-07:00

HEY everyone!
ok..currently im not feeling well..i have sore throat, flu and slight fever..
i just ended my oral ytd..i have both language oral straight in 2 days! how bad can tt be huh? but the bad part is that i have to wait for like 2 hrs at least to my turn for both day! im suppose to be the first one in the CL oral but i have change my CL oral to the nxt day due to the clash days of both oral so i changed CL coz Ms Pilo said tt EL only have 1 grp while CL have 2..EL i got no grudges la but CL ! TT potato put us at the back and ms lee said we are at the front! WTF stupid POTATO!den i have wait 2 bloody hrs for just a short Fking oral! dam piss la! and during oral BH and me talking alot la! thinking back when was the last time we talk so much? is like 5 or 6 yrs back la!well i think we kinda share some thinking and common for some stuff! well just nice talking with her!
well tmrw celebrating BaoHui bday with the four of us..looking forward! thinking what to get for him?

2009-07-05T05:17:00.001-07:00

those kids are frm thai! enjoy yea!

2009-06-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

if need any cations pls tag & more @ facebook!

2009-06-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Let talk abt ytd!

spent a day at sentosa: life's a beach!

WITH A.LZLits was total fun! though the sun is burning hot yet we have lots lots fun! reach there we went ard the booth..we have free sunblock apply,free pads&ttampons, free tatoo and more la..! & i wrote my secret and the secret is with the balloons(below) and flew up to the sky and A.L knw la..and i told her not to tell anyone..esp mr P***..hahahas

we really have a lot fun..the DJ are really cool esp the muttons la..too much detail cant rmb la.. let the pic do the talk..me& A.L cam-whore alot la!next post..
* IMPORTANTLY
i did a heroin thing!
got tis guy came over when we were on our way to the dine @ vivo and ask for Belle number den she like dun wan and the tt guy said tt he was dared by his fren and blah blah blah..den i took the phone he was holding and i anyhow press 8 number..den walk away..
and on our way dwn the escalater i was telling her tt they may follow down and they did..we went to kopitam aft buying our food they were sitting behind us and i got nervous and lose appetite la..den we hurried eat den go home..
and before we went back vivo at sentosa i told annabelle tt something not really good going to happen/ my sixth sense / my instinct or ... & it happen aft tt! show tt my sixth sense haven gone away..hahaha..i alway have tis sixth sense and i have lose it for some times b4 is been retieved.. haha its still works as good as b4! wee!

2009-06-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

MY LAPTOP IS DOWN!

THE SCREEN GOT BIG PROBLEM!

sob! my lappy failed me tonight..the screen is kinda dark and blur blur one..very sad..hais..have to get someone to fix this for me..and keep it frm my dad..if u knw any good IT peeps..tell me..i need them URGENTLY! can leave tag or call me or email me: letitpassby@htm.cm! really impt..

apart frm tt..these days quite eventful.monday went movie with belle( hannah& ghost of gf past) good movie shld catch it..must see..the guy in hannah movie is HOT!(trevis if im not wrong) and most imptly is very touching..almost burst into tears.. And Ghost of gf past is funny la..and the show give peeps a different perpective of the defination LOVE..pretty meaningful..and is nice show! MUST CATCH BOTH IF NOT WILL REGRAT!..

tue went to chalet mummy & her fren.(aunties chalet/gathering) de..little ppl turn up..is actually suppose to more ppl and auntie last min got tis tat la..so little came..and 5 stayed overnight 4 kids(including me& sis) and auntie of the two kids..den me & sis cant slp den we went out meet sis fren,hanlin den talk talk crap crap..he very crappy and talk nonsense..aft talk cock session se went back slp den hanlin go disturb ppl la..i dun knw the exact detail la..den hor...the pillow is dam high and hard to slp la..change pose like #$%**&^$#$@ times la..neck dam pain la..den morning had bk breakfast den tv little den HSH..got home Asqiha called den went out again to meet the ex la..den.......

den dinner with dad& sis den came home..watch tv & here im..

im very tired have to slp..gdnites..

congrat sis..stay ****!

when will be my turn?hais!

2009-06-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Weeeeee!
ytd went to WWW with WX and finally i got myself badly tanned..well, it was actually a nice tann but my back and upper arm got burnt..got the burning sensation going on..i love it! woots:)
and i also witness CAPSIZE in this indian man and the daughter..it happen in the circular pool there..the man wanted to get on it and u knw..den the daughter very small so he cant probably let the girl in the pool plus no life jacket on the daughter so the man stop at the sides and put the girl and try to get on it and u knw tt i cant stop at the side..the life guard beep beep him la..den i hurry got on den put the daughter on the lap den try to move the float..as the float was like half in the water half on tt 'platform' and the pressure mostly on the 'platform' so he did have to use some more effort to move off and instead of moving off.. the float toppled(capsize) i pass by and started laughing and i look at the life guard and he so call heard my laughter and started laughing too..btw the life guard is fking hot!den i saw tt life guard got dipple la..u knw guys with dipples are so irresistable to me..and that indian oso very awkward and was smilling to me..den i went on laughing and laughing..
& hor during the play i bang against thing like 123456 @#$%^!@~!@#$^&*(^&#$ upteens of time la...and was like so painful esp my buttocks got hit many times due to the U size thingy..and lots of hunks there can..!
recently i had very bad nightmares and make me woke up in the middle of the night and crying for the bad nightmare i had..seems like something real bad gonna happened..haha..cant real got bother i also cant do anything..hahahahahahaaa!
im happy:]
& i cant get bother about him anymore!

2009-06-07T08:02:00.001-07:00

im very tired!

just came back frm dinner & some shopping in PS!

im very tired:]

more updates nxt time!

2009-05-31T02:12:00.000-07:00

HELLO!
im very nervous now..tmrw is O chinese liao! im afraid tt i will score badly and cry instantly..i having a bad feeling and it gona be real bad sia..but what can i only do is study lor..what can still do..i will score at least a b3..tt my aim but i hope for A1..im greedy huh!hehees
TOTAL WASTE OF TIME!
ytd went to P camp and its suck totally..esp the night! wth la..i was just asking alwin whether is him ok with his leg anot..but tt bloody TOOT said tt i was disturbing? what sia? aint u suppose to reflect on ur action instead of telling the other to reflect huh?stupid idoit! and u dun deserve my respect! who care so wad! Apart frm that, ryan words are really heartfelt! i knw u can do it..ryan u can do it! but rmb dun only say but do it in action..only believe in yourself only den can follow u..Jy ok..sry tt i couldnt be much help to u coz..im just a tinny winny shit in PB!hahaha..i have no authority..SORRY!:) but i be a gd listener ear..tt my favorite & tt only thing i can give..
lastly i must say..wenxiang do have the welfare for PB but his way of thinking and doing are not being understand by us..we shld think in a difference perpective and try to understand him more..i wont hate him anymore...hahaas..but i still think he is abit too impatient for things..but JY for Os!
And i realise im not better than him..at least he is keen to do thing but its really helpless if u are dere but unable to help out in anything,my words wont be taken in to the situation coz they think my word are always rubbish & being not serious..the feeling sucks..i dint tell any1 tt ytd but it really suck & no one will understand ..i knw im nth but im human a SECONDARY 4 prefect aft all..cant u guys just understand more..i feel tt im not even worth in tt place..i shldnt step in the room,i shld be bathing or doing other thing but not in the room listen and let ppl pick on me and discriminate my presence..at least i will pretend nth happen and enjoy the last night tt im spending with them..

& something wierd(i duno wad/how to describe tt) happened the night b4 ytd..i slept at 11 den i woke up at 12 CRYING! and i cry for an hr non-stop..and i cant rmb what happened..i cant rmb anything..i duno is it some nightmare of wad..i just cry for 1 hr non-stop and i dint knw why..i was shocked by myself too..i was really scare off..really scared dao!OMFG thinking back i still feel scary and horrified tt im crying for so long and no reason of crying..scare..!

got to go for dinner @ aunt hse!

byebye!

all e best to me

for O's chinese:)

2009-05-28T21:46:00.000-07:00

my results was bad to me..
it may be good to other but tt wasnt my stardard..i can do better but it just dint improve tt much..is it bcoz tt ppl are improving while i still the same or i dint study hard to catch with the rest..i know this result is:

Terrible!

its suck when u study so hard yet minor improvement were made..and it really tear me out..im going to wore off soon..cant hold on anymore..and it painful in the inside..i hate it!i will hid the report book till sch reopen..and i will not let anyone see that..

i disappointed myself badly!

im not as cheerful as what u all think..

& im not that strong to face this...

2009-05-27T06:33:00.000-07:00

so what?

3 words:

I Love You

2 words:

Thank You

1 word:

Sorry

this is how i feel toward u!

2009-05-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

today last day of being prefect..i dun knw to be happy or sad..but i really enjoy tt 2 minutes of fame just nw..it was awesome i swear it was..but i felt so lost just now too..reflecting this 4 yrs is being like a rollar coaster..and it suck man..i dun really like..chances is given and yet it been rip off everytime..well it all past tense now..just hope for a better tmrw..i knw tt attention is seriously needed but pls give me..i just a little of that..im not a blessed person..im just being naive for these year.. yet i couldnt bring myself to stop this things coz im alway brought to reality at the very last minutes..i cant describe my feeling now..its terrible..
*i will post picture once i get them
i still love him even though..

2009-05-27T06:14:00.000-07:00

i nvr thought of having you..all i wish tt we could be fren..all tt is really all i wish for..really..im not lying..u dun have to avoid me dun have to pretend tt u duno anything..u just have to be normal..aint i the one doing this?why are u doing tis instead?i totally understand how distant we are..we are not possible not now for future nvr i knw..but u dun have do tt to me..i seriously dun deserve tt..i swear..it will only tear me out and wore u off...do u really understand..i knw im selfish but wad about u?pls tell me what to do..

2009-05-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

tmrw gona be the day! prefect investiture(PI)..im so nervous and scare..pls dun laugh if i dance wrong or wad..im very scare..going to cry soon..and tmrw morning got IT baseline quiz and its suck man..is like the most easiest thing in world can! dam stupid..no link and it clash with the rehersal of PI..argh..im going crazy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY:

1.EUGENE CYJ

(KOR)

2.N.KIAN HAO

27/5/09

16TH BDAY!

study hard and move on better in life!

ILY:]

2009-05-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

may got too much bday can!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMLEONG KOR!

26/05/09

UR 16TH BDAY!

take care and study hard!

ILY!

2009-05-20T06:11:00.000-07:00

i dun need ur sympathy la! i can take care of my ownself..im sick i will buy my own medicine la..i will know how to deal with myself..im no longer small kid anymore..u can forcus on my sister;ur dearest daughter!it really bother me,why must i be so sensible to understand u and listen to ur nag?in the end i still get treating like a NOBODY! it really bother me..is it that being the elder one alway get this?am i wrong to be born out first?if time goes back and i can choose,i wont want to come to this world and experience this..i dun deserve all this! i dun need the empathy!

If i have a chance,

i will turn my head against you.

If i know it will happen,

i will sure go on hiding.

If i only have a day of memory,

i won't be in agony.

If i really deserve this,

please take me away ASAP.

If this will my life,

i will end it.

2009-05-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really blamed myself for not being a good sister and a better daughter..
i cldnt do anything but to listen..is that enough?how i wish i could help to lighten the burden but what shld i do?i really feel so helpless..can any1 tell me what to do?

2009-05-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

picture with A.LZL!

hanging with her alot sia!

more on facebook!>

2009-05-14T06:28:00.000-07:00

UPDATED!!!

NAH! updated liao!!!!!

2009-05-08T11:33:00.000-07:00

I LOVE THEM!

*ramdom*

2009-05-08T10:00:00.000-07:00

HELLO EVERYONE!
its 1am and im wide awake...haha..just bath-ed! im smelling nice& my hair is smooth and nice..i love sniffing my hair aft bath and my new shower soap is veri nice la..i like sniffing my own body aft bath la..sound sick..haha..coz i reallt smell damn nice & fragrance:)
i have finish my ss,math,biology papers..well it pretty hard for tt 3 papers...i have tt "scary" feeling when i having my math paper like last yr when i doing my EXPRESS math paper..maybe bcoz of tt feeling im back to na math..i tink i have slacking during math..im gona buck up and listen to class and get mr MICHAEL to help when he is back..i hope my math is able get a grade 1 for Ns..SS is quite hard..what can say?SS is nvr easy..getting old note to learn ny skills..digging needed!BIOLOGY killer..got cheated by ms zulhailah..she say it was easy if got study..i woke up in mid night 3am to study yet i find hard..hais..midyr is terrible!hw i hope i can get good result..i tink mid yr is a gd to see wher i gauge in the level..it gona be the last exam b4 prelims and N level start..we barely left with 3 mths excuting june hols..really got to work hard..i must pass my Ns..its not just a promise to parent or friend or other peeps,it a responsibillty tt i have to carry..being responsible to the work i do and what im doing in the future..although i duno what will happen to me the nxt day but i shld be responsible for what i done and cause..i just be responsible to my things..
*i sound so determind to pass!hahaha! but im!
Just nw while digging clothes frm my closet i found a ants nest in my closet!i threw my clothes off the floor and use dettol to clean it! so many sia! waolao! stupid ants! and i will be cleaning the rest of my closet tmrw! which i suppose to meet A.lzl to study bub i call it off and clean my room and wash my shoes,change my bedsheet wash the bedsheet. and mop my room! im gona be a hsewife cleaning,srubbing and washing TMRW! Can u believe it? i cant! but i have to! ant invading strong here! my rival! IHATEANTS! Fking ants! ARGH!

2009-05-04T05:23:00.000-07:00

I AM FEELING BAD NOW!
Dont really know why..just dun like tis feeling i have..
english paper..quite hard..
able to pass ba..hope i can!

~PROCESSING~
E.V.O.L

2009-05-02T08:47:00.000-07:00

today!
went study with janier at hg mall pasta mania..talk alot la..everything to talk with..guys to cca to everything..den went her hse put things went buangkok to buy our ingredients for dinner with colin..end-ed up his mum got cook..so we ate..nicely cooked..den went hme..wad a short post!hahahaha!
i will get over him soon..
doing good now!
disappointment is the best thing!
*RAMDOM*

2009-05-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

TODAY!

went studying with annabelle,eugenekor and his fren at achorview cc!hahaha..manage to study:)hab lots of fun laughing..and we got attracted to young kids/baby..and they was attracted to us too...haha they are so cute!MYGOSH!den went to cp take bus to bedok..went to look for yoko they all..my god got alot od newbies sia!miss dem dam much can!den aft tt took bus to east coast..walk walk chat chat cam-whored! den we saw a rat! BIG ONE! i got shock and my sandal broke..sobs!went get a veri ugly temp slipper den continue walk to bk..snack alittle talk and realise tt eugene is borned in the same day as kianhao..hahaha!pretty shock,same day bub veri big differences sia..hahaha!den continue walkin to parkway parade..window shop shop..den bus-ed bak to jalan kayu for dinner...today the food wasnt tt nice as last time bub average la..den eugene call-ed and say my TYS with him..aft dinner bus-ed bak to cp get the book went hme..wad a tired day ! feeling tt i falling sick soon..symtoms are showing..hahaha..vitamn c is needed!haha nth much..just feel tt i shouldnt fall for him..wrong signal!hais!

i miss him!

2009-04-30T00:14:00.000-07:00

TODAY!
CHINESE PAPER DOWN!
SOBs!

2009-04-26T08:24:00.000-07:00

getting more and more restless..
having the thought of skipping school as and when i want..but i dint..mid yr is starting coming thursday and i not prepared and no urge to lik study or chiong..i might be saying and asking ppl to study bub in my heart not tt so..though i knw i had to..i shall study everyday starting tmrw till mid yr end..rest awhile den chiong for chinese O level..im left with a month to chiong hard for O level chinese..i gona drill myself real hard..i knw i can do well in o level chinese..coz tt my strongest..let talk abt school life these days..basically im trying to listen to class as hard as possible..even chem class..i giving mr soong a chance and myself a chance..nw i wish to give mrs yeo a chance and giving myself a chance to excell in maths...i wish i can reli score well..i mus score well infact..the rest im listening trying to caught everything i could and apply it..really hope i can reli scold well in midyr..to gaged wher im standing in the level..and my resolution is no matter who is able to study or not study with me,i will still study alone...!
well nw is more on my personal ones:
ytd went out with annabelle,cutted our hair..went dhoby gaut to get my practical plate&bowl..and bought a eyeliner and hair cologne..i dun reli use eyeliner as i dun do make up..bub i realise i ok gd with eyeliner..nw im abit more interested in makeup..JUST ALITTLE MORE!den went clarke Quey study..den HSH lor..
today..went meet the $1 dollar proj peeps at 4 went yangjia hse tok alot and janier find me too loud so she change place..den aunt came fetch me den went dinner at punngol end de some country club de restraunt..food was pretty normal and it cost lik $200++ for lik 12 peepo..dam exp!bub tt outsider paid so dun care..den cp awhile den bak hme..

i cant forget ur smile!
unconditionally fallen for u!

2009-04-21T06:27:00.000-07:00

i so tired nowadays..
i dun seem to have enough sleeps..even though i did lik at least 6 hrs..i think im reli falling sick soon..can feel tt my immuse system getting bad..sneeze so easily and terrible weather..it really getting me ill..
got my ca1 result..not veri please..i can do way better than that..tt wasnt my best shot..i so gona work hard and go hard on it..at the same time help others..i really want to study outside..at home to much temptation and distrations..will hear nagging non-stops..so frustrated being at home..i really wants to study..reli want..i actually ask my friend bub they not free sia..well..i shall wait till they free if not study outside alone lor..at home NO NO!
and went bugis with WIFE,wx..talk and crap alot sia..
Wher is my number?
Wher is wanxin's moon?
Wher is A 's loser?
tis are secret between me and wanxin..!
dun tell anyone..
haha!
i love crapping with her and poker with wx and melia..!
catch up soon!
P.S i wasnt sure whth am i or not..
i jus feeling jealous..

2009-04-15T06:10:00.000-07:00

Hating take more than loving someone..
i wan to love you but maybe now i cant..
u causes all the thing..good to me when sis is not around..
take me as subsitute..
tt not my style..
im jus a typical LIBRA!
i hate unfairness..
u started all tis..
cant blame me for tt..
silence doesnt mean tt i dun care..
chance given to u is too much..
dint feel tt..
your bloody own problem..
so what im ur daughter?
do u take me as one?
u like to say
"raise u up i rather adopt a dog at least i give him something he still wail his tail"
my word to u is:
" i rather die than staying in here!"
u dun play a part in my life..
what im today is not u taught me..
one action is enough for me turn my head back against you!
i hate you..
i dun give a shit tt im carry ur blood!

2009-04-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

i got a new phone..KU990..kinda happy..thanks dad anw!

ytd HRC..fun..jus tt not as a whole..little ppl came..i really enjoy the flyin fox..i will upload the pic soon..

tt all..got to slp!
CONGRAT JAROD!

2009-04-02T06:44:00.000-07:00

i will start happy FIRST!
currently back frm a 2 day course..i swear it was lovely..the instrustor rawks to the hell can!!!
we learn hw to study properly,tip , hw can u overcome obstacles,hw help one another to cross the obstacles tgt and goal setting and stuff..i really enjoy it..the coaches are Elgin,weilun,nisha and emma..they are reli nice la..nisha dam good la..friendly and she said i look mature and got the attach look..diaos!i so not attach can..though i wish i can..bub im currently not!!we had activites and stuff in the course..at first i tot it was gona be talk talk and fall asleep..i was proven damn freaky wrong when i jus began the course..we hab fun activites to start off...i dint fall asleep at any point of time but laughter all the way..i can laugh non-stop like siao chapo..it was totally enjoyment..ytd b4 we end..the words tt elgin told us..make me cry..he said tt we need our friends to support us to overcome the obstacles tgt..and hw impt friends are to each of us..hw we can use a simple sentence bring other everything or even the world..a simple note make life for others..damn touch and tear rolled off my cheeks..OMG..u will know hw guilty it was when he was say tt hw we jeering and make them feel bad and apologise to them make hw big difference in them..i was feeling very guilty and start thinking hw my friends support me when im in bad mood or feeling emotional tt whole world turn against you..the words are hurtful yet true..we dun think b4 we speak and hw other hurt when they heard it..when the words are said to you,your mind will pop out images of u jeering at ppl or calling them at them..and u will be guilty and start reflects and maybe cry.. and i rmb one sentence tt he said and still in my little brain till nw:"we are crossing the same hurddle,we must support one another" and i start talking to ppl "because we are crossing the same hurddle ,therefore i....."tt will become my sentence at the end of thr day..haha..i think is freaky meaningfully..
we also did some test like testing whad side of our brain works,learning styles and tips of the whuch side of brain..
test resulf for :
What brain work better for me?
-Right
Tips for that side of brain?
-Using diagrams& picture to help in understanding
-Personalise learning find ways that make thing relavant in life
-Shape & colours to highlight important information/notes
-Use different colours for each chapter/parts
-Use movement to relate in studying
What kind of learning style that i am in?Audio/Visual/Kinesthetic
AND I AM ALL!!!
the test result for each section was the same...24 24 24!
omg i cant believe and i did it again : SAME! GOSH!
i can study through hearing,images and movement..
which i think i cant get that but good tt i can study in all kind of styles..
Apart of tt i think i am more motivated to study hard and study hard to achieve my goals..
I WILL ACHIEVE MY GOALS BUT I WONT REVEAL HERE! hehehes!
Tmrw will be the last day of NPCC!
i ask my frens shld i be happy or sad..they say happy..
but i am fking bloody angry..reason shall not be known..i tink more of my friends tt known me well shld know..i hate sissy!pussy!
*i not putting step down we nvr step up!

2009-03-22T08:59:00.000-07:00

having reli bad headache ytd..duno why bub dint talk panadol either..maybe i shldnt tak panadol anymore..not to rely on tt..not gd taking too much of tt often..today got little bit bub still ok ok la..and today i hab an idea to cut my hair SHORT! tis idea struck me quite long ago actually jus tt i wouldnt dare to cut it went i go to the barber..shld i do tt i reli wonder..can i? i swore not having haircut within a year with my mei,shirley L..i hope it wouldnt matter if i reli cut..she wont ask sweson frm me ba?hope wont if i really potong my rambot(did i spell correctly?)..maybe i will down the idea aft a few day..imma always lidat...3 min of hotness...haiz..i will go into deep consideration now...
today dad came bak scold scold scold..hais..and i have to find own money to paid for my N level fee..wher can i get the money..i dun like being the burden for my parent..or to anyone..i willingly to leave the house to cut down the burden if my parent say out..my sister need my parent more than me...maybe is my fate to continue life tis way..is always me tt bear the responsibillity just only becoz im the eldest..adult always say tt since im young..so im so used to all the scolding and stuff...well..venting shld end one day when i......
sch is opening tmrw..must chiong studies liao...all the best for me..

2009-03-20T00:38:00.000-07:00

did i lose the abillity of communicating to family?or i dont hab it the capablity at all?
i did not know how to keep a family peaceful and loving..giving in to one another other doesnt seems to happen to my family?quarrel seems to happen every single day..be it parent or parent with us..it never fail to happen..does every family like mine?
what really made up a happy family? communication? love? or money? does every family with lots of money live happily?i am really lost..there nth i can help..should i hate my mother putting all the blame on her or my dad for being too self-centered?though he always say tt wad he do is always for the family good?doesnt tt really so?i dont know?i just know none of us is living happily,maybe the exception of my sister,i dont think she can see tt...she is always do thing for the benefit of her own..yet i cant probably blame her she is just too young to know all this..
is human being alway tt selfish?i admit tt i m one too..the world is never fair?god jus created us this way for wad? quarrel wid ppl?i really wonders..where the love that my family should have?

parent stay tgt is for responsiblilty or love?

2009-03-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

seriously i duno whad have actually happen to myself..althought things are quite getting on my way..bub i tend to get frustrated easily..esp to ppl..maybe shld i tt i cant take the way they behave anymore and started arguing with them?it may be my fault..temper is getting bad perhaps..if u hab realise i hab not been tt crappy..though i still crap bub nt as much..it reli bother me..ppl ard hab nt realise tt actually..i tink it doesnt matter to them..dey way much more better things to do to observe my change..well..i hope is for the time being..i will be bak soon...
holidays doesnt make me feel better..hmwk tonnes..and my room is in total mess..lazy to clean..lacking of resillence and discipline..i will clean up soon...

if i can have a better discipline
if i can have better patience
if i can have better parent
if i can be more clever
if i can be more strong
if i can be more sensible
if i can be more understanding
if i can be a better person
if i can be brave
if i can be hero
if i can be more positive thinking
if i can be a better sister
if i can change the world
if i can go back in time..
if i can realise the love earlier
if i can forget you
if i can get u back
if i can understands myself better
if i can i am willingly to stay with you
if i can i wan earn big bucks
if i can change myself
if i can make you fall for me again
if i can i want to love you forever
if i can i will live in peace
if i can touch the sky
if only this can be fullfill...
if i can...

2009-03-03T07:07:00.000-08:00

After adminstation..i done with most of the thing..next is to invite ppl & posting onli..!
tday got lesson as usual...had pe..not tt bad i still action big big lor..and jas&anna was lik laughing at me lor..bowling & badminton..WHATEVER okay! ms huang show porn accidentally..!!!
skip assembly for dental app..not tt bad..at least dint inject coz i dun wan to..bub i can see the difference of the teeth..is like fake teeth lidat..aft app..went cp meet jasmine,clarence,justin and Lz..lz dam emo today...duno why..bub i can roughly guess wad he emo about..and we went kfc to makan..i laugh untill stomachache can! den wanna cry liao..luckily i hold it der if not i will end up crying..den we chat chat crap crap lor..dan HSH!

i hope u will be able to speak up soon!

2009-02-25T06:48:00.000-08:00

i haven decided to change my blog a private one...duno why actually..maybe to change of enviroment..hehe!